Checking another off the list :)

I was sitting on the couch enjoying a little moment of peace (thank you, Kari), and I realized, HEY!

I tried a new recipe (these lovely {graham crackers} from my new favorite blog) today! That's one for my resolutions!


It fits the criteria, because it was:

-easy: I whipped it together while the kids were playing after breakfast. I even rolled out the dough and cut star shapes without feeling like it was an ordeal.

-repeatable: It doesn't call for strange ingredients.

-healthy: It is entirely whole wheat, and though I used some sugar and oil (it's what I had on hand) it could easily be made very natural with coconut oil and natural sweetener. Each little cracker is just 44 calories, too.

-and delicious. They taste like cookies. And as they cool/dry, they taste even more like real graham crackers.

They are not an exact replica of your Nabiscos, but at the rate at which my kiddos like to consume graham crackers, they are likely to be a more economical and healthy option for us! So, I'm thinking these are a worthwhile addition to my repertoire. And a check on my 12 x 12 for 2012 list, might I add!

Next on my list to try is homemade goldfish. Call me crazy, but I think it'll be fun!

Jumping in for my 12x12

I find that inevitably, when I say I want to focus on one particular character quality, I am immediately faced with challenges in that area. I know you can relate.

So when I said I wanted to focus on peace, oh my. Mind you, I have two little boys. Peace is just not on the top of their priority lists. And I don't just mean noise level, because that is a given. I mean that many days, the general feeling of our home does not tend towards peace.

Holman's passionate nature means that often his default mode tends towards discontentment. I pray that ultimately this means he will never be satisfied with less than God's best for his life! In the mean time, it means that I have a somewhat high maintenance buddy on my hands, who I am responsible to love, to teach, and with whom to work on things like gratitude, joy, and kindness.






My big guy on Christmas morning.








And Sid, with his easy-going temperament, has his tough days of course. He is a toddler now (though not quite walking!). He's still cutting teeth, figuring out what he likes and doesn't like, and learning how to play with his awesome big bro. Some days he fusses more, needs to eat constantly, wants to be held, or seems to annoy his big brother when he gets a little pushy.

My little guy chomping on some candy ;)

Some days I wake up feeling a little behind already. The kids are both awake, needing various diaper changes and emergency breakfasts (my big boys get beyond grumpy if they don't eat quickly!). The laundry reaches mountainous levels (just ask my very patient husband), the dishes pile up in my dishwasher-less kitchen, and the little tornadoes make messes as quickly as I can pick up the apartment. In these moments I feel anything but peaceful.

But then I remember something. I am the momma. I am the queen of this home, and more often than not, it is my attitude that is going to drive the tone of the home. God has endowed me with a life filled with blessings, in addition to a pretty large realm of related responsibility. He knows how crazy my life feels, because this is all a part of His glorious, wise plan for me! So He is not unaware of my struggles when His Word challenges me to "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful." (Colossians 3:15 NASB)

I belong to the Prince of Peace. I must remember this truth! During His life on earth, peace marked His every step. Peace in His Father's love, His purpose, and His love for His wayward sheep. I must allow His peace to invade every moment, from the joyous to the horrible, so that I can have a heart that is truly peaceful. This is my first memory verse for the year; may it become deeply ingrained in my heart, so that I might become a truly peaceful mother this year.

"... and be thankful." Tied to the fruit of peace has to be a deep gratitude for all He is and all He has done in my life. And do I ever have a lot to be grateful for. The other day it occurred to me that there are people in the world who might give up a limb for even the worst days of my life. This was both humbling and encouraging. My life is insanely good, and I am grateful. I just pray that I can become the kind of mother who can walk in peace on good days, horrible days, and all the days in between.

May the peace of Christ rule in our hearts today!
-Sarah

2012!

New year's resolutions. The very words often strike fear into the heart of a delinquent resoluter from years past. This year, I considered not making any at all. What's the point? Life gets in the way, and by February 1, there you are, feeling sorry for yourself, wishing you were more diligent.

But giving them up altogether seems pointless too. At this end of the spectrum, you have the non-committal, purposeless crazy woman, running through 2012 at full speed, with no direction, life slipping through her fingers. So what's a momma to do?

I've been sick these first few days of 2012, and while it stinks, it also has given me some time to come up with a fun way to do my resolutions this year. It may sound crazy, but it perfectly suits my personality. (The old, go big or go home mentality). This year, I'm making it huge and fun and crazy. And I'm calling it:

12 x 12 for 2012.

That's right. 12 groups of 12 for the year 2012. Now, hear me out. I may have just caused heart attacks in several states. But really, when I started rolling around some ideas, I got excited. A lot of these things are parts of my routine anyway. But this gives me a measurable way to see purpose throughout the year and to (yippeee!!) check them off! How fun!

So, without further ado. My 12 x 12 for 2012. Having 12 months in the year is so convenient!!

1. 12 months of purpose and peace. These are my two big character goals this year, because I have seen them lacking in years past. First, purpose. Because I tend to start running without taking the time to plan, and it usually comes back to haunt me. And second, peace. I find that even when I appear to have it all together, I often struggle with a lack of the peace of Christ which definitely should be pervasive in my heart and life. I know these two goals will only happen as I draw near to Jesus- may this always remain my first and highest priority.

2. 12 new scriptures to memorize- one per month.

3. 12 dates with my awesome husband.

4. 12 completed craft projects- of course, these can be small!

5. 12 books finished. This is by far my most ambitious goal, because I have never been a great reader. I am kind of slow and don't at all love it. But I have started so many books, and I am hoping this will encourage me to finish them!!

6. 12 handwritten letters sent to friends and family in the mail. I adore snail mail and would like to see it not die altogether :)

7. 12 monthly mommy breaks. A long bubble bath, coffee with a friend, a fun shopping excursion. This helps everyone in my house!

8. 12 family journal entries- 1 per month. This may show up as a blog post.

9. Try 12 new recipes which meet these criteria: easy, repeatable, healthy, and delicious.

10. 12 special, fun activities with the kids- shoot for one per month.

11. Organize / purge 12 cluttery spots in our house: Boys closet. Office. Kitchen cupboards. Craft armoire and supplies. My dresser. Hall/linen closet. Office closet. Our closet. Holman's room. Mail sorting system. Ryan's dresser.

12. 12 "days of Christmas" (December). I started this over Christmas this year and plan to do it each Christmas season. I gave Ryan 12 little days of gifts leading up to Christmas day- a super fun way to bless him and remind him that he is still my main man ;)

It looks like a lot, but I feel encouraged by the organization~ it feels very doable. I hope to report in about my progress and enjoy checking things off the list!! And don't even think that I am planning to continue adding more in years to come. One year at a time- one adventure at a time- grace for the moment!

Impossible to fill in the gaps, so jumping right in...

Winning at life at the Golden Gargoyles 2011

We moved to Chicago.

Ryan is in business school and loving it.

Sid turns 1 this week. Whoah.

And onward with my thoughts on life... no time to waste~

************

So this has been a crazy week! Here are just a few fun tidbits because all the details are boring, and stories are more fun.

Sid, (whose first birthday is this week!!) who has always been my angel baby and a champ at eating, sleeping, and well, most things... decided that he should start waking up in the night again. At first I thought, no big deal. Must just be teething. So I babied him a little. And then he cut a few teeth, so I thought life would get back to normal. But we're about two weeks into waking up at night, and he still thinks 2:30 am is an appropriate time to get up, demand to eat, and stay awake a while. What is funny and different is that all of the sudden he has a little will. (Ryan's response to this: "Oh, he IS ours after all!" Aha.) He knows what he wants, and he makes it pretty clear. It's adorable... and somewhat exhausting. I'm glad to see preferences and a will, though, because I know this means he is developing and learning and growing. Praise God for that! Most mornings you find mommy with an inordinately large cup of coffee in hand, a sassy remark or two (Ryan said this morning to the kids, "Mommy is just a precious, precious jewel"), and a huge need for God's abundant grace. Writing this makes me grin. I love my life.

See why it's hard not to baby him... just a little?

Holman, my amazing almost-three-year old is keeping us on our toes. Last Saturday was a big social event with Ryan's school (Golden Gargoyles), and friends from our {amazing} church offered to help us out with the kiddos so we could go. We donned rock star costumes, hair, and make up, and ventured out for a night on the town. (On occasions where we employ babysitters, I really try hard not to sprint out the door. But it's just so fun to get a bit of alone time with my hot husband). About two hours into the event, I texted our friend to see how things were going. His response... "It's okay. Holman was crying because of his cough. I think he has a fever. Very warm on his neck and back..." After my heart started beating again, my mind started racing. We were on the other side of Chicago, not in our own car, in the beginning of a very late evening of festivities. My baby! Momma bear instincts kicked in. I wanted to drop everything, hail a cab in my 80s garb, and sprint home to save the day. Thankfully, my better half calmed me down, and our amazing babysitter was able to administer medicine, hold and calm our little guy, and put him to bed to sleep (relatively) soundly the rest of the night (especially compared to his kid brother ;)). Poor Holman was pretty sick, with the croup. He is finally on the tail end of it though, and we have been really blessed to be in a building full of friends who offer to help in any way they can. These few days of house arrest have actually been a wonderful connecting time for the two of us. We have been reading a ton together, and singing, and playing, and you name it (there are a lot of hours in the day when you really can't go much of anywhere!). Yeah, he drives me nuts. But he is sweet and loving, and funny, and really, really, really CUTE! At the end of the day, there is nowhere I'd rather be than kissing his sweet little chubby face and arguing with him about who loves whom more.

My amazing toddler, so cute, during story time at Sid's party

Ryan is tough to pin down these days, but I don't mind. He makes us a priority and also is squeezing every last ounce of great stuff out of his Booth experience. As much as God paved the way for us to be here, he continues to pave it even more now. Ryan has completely embraced the experience and is narrowing down options for internships and eventual jobs. School is downright fun for him. Stressful, yes, at times. But he is such a nerd... err... I mean, intellectual, that this atmosphere enlivens him. I am falling in love with him all over again, I guess because he is sort of like a grown up version of that double major in Finance and Economics that I met back at Berry. I love the passions and drives God is bringing out of him again. I love that he is loving it again. It's fun. And boy, is it flying by. Two weeks (2!) until finals. What?

I, Sarah, am... well, I'm keeping track of all of these guys. And of course I am diving right in to mommy functions, Bible studies, play groups, various parties and get-togethers, and so on. Some days I feel slightly over committed, but let's face it, I love my life busy and full. I am EAGERLY anticipating my parents' visit over thanksgiving week and looking forward to a long(ish) break with my family in December. And I'm starting to bat around some ideas for goal setting, passion developing, and organization starting up in January. I just want to make sure that this time that is flying by continues to be fruitful and not (too terribly) haphazard. :) Oh the joys of a passionate nature.

Thanks for reading.

A mother who never liked her child

That was a headline on the Today show website today. When I saw it, I rolled my eyes at what I thought was just another overblown psycho-babble piece. But then I watched this video and my stomach turned.

This mom has written an article in Redbook magazine detailing her struggle with disliking her little girl. She explains that her daughter didn't eat or sleep well, cried a lot, didn't reach milestones, and had trouble with social interaction from the very beginning. Because of all these factors, this mom simply did not like her child. Those things she wanted- eye contact, milestones, happier behavior- were just not too much to ask, says the mom. The little girl has since been diagnosed with a hormone growth deficiency which seems to be actually helping their relationship.

On some level, I feel for this mom. And I appreciate her honesty. I have tried to be honest with other moms about how Holman has challenged me a TON since his birth 2.5 years ago. In other ways, it made me think that something has gone very wrong.

Holman at about 6 weeks- totally precious but not very happy! :)

Now moms, I'm sure we can all identify on some level with having days of not liking our children. Right? Holman was a hard baby. I'm really honest about that. I struggled with his eating, sleeping, crying, and even pooping schedules! I didn't sleep much during those early days, and yep, I was miserable sometimes. Holman continues to be a challenging kid. He is demanding and strong-willed, opinionated and difficult. (And in spite of all this, I am crazy about him). But here are some helpful bits of news for you:


Our kids are sinners.

They live in a sinful, fallen world.

They are imperfect- every single one of them.

Some of them also have other problems because in this sin infested world, disease and disorders exist.

They will drive us nuts sometimes.

BUT

We are also sinners.

We live in a sinful, fallen world.

We are imperfect parents.

Even when they don't feel like it (at 3 am feedings, or cleaning up vomit for the fifth time, or disciplining and training a strong-willed toddler), God's word calls children a blessing.

And regardless of our kids' issues, physical problems, likeability, or how much grief they cause us, WE ARE THEIR PARENTS, and WE ARE CALLED TO LOVE.


I'm not bashing that poor mom. It's good to be honest about our junk. And the junk we have with our babies. But I think some of these issues stem from a real misunderstanding of what love is. Love is not about what someone can do for you. Love is not even a feeling, though the feeling of love is nice and sometimes an added benefit! Love is a sacrifice. Love is a choice. Love is an action. Love is a reflection of who God is (1 John 4:8). If God only loved us when we were loveable and likeable, my, what trouble we would be in.

"For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:6-8

Yep, our kids are sinners. Just like us. These two facts pretty much guarantee that you won't always like your kids. Parenthood is a high and extremely inconvenient calling. So if you want to parent like God our Father parents us, then get ready to lay down your life and love sacrificially. It won't be in vain, and I am certain that it will not be a joyless adventure.

So what do you think on this Thinking Thursday?

Worshipful Memories

My little apartment kitchen/worship space- 5 years ago!

You know how certain sounds and smells and feelings are tied inexplicably to very vivid memories? A whiff of a waffle cone can snatch you back your 8 year old self, carelessly devouring a sticky mess in the muggy summer evening. An old song drifts over the radio, and suddenly you are 16 again, driving your first car and amazed at your newly found freedom. I love that about the way God has designed our senses and our memories.

There is a unique way that certain CDs compel me to worship through the memories they conjure up for me. For instance, I turn on a favorite worship CD by Watermark, and I am taken back to our first little apartment here in Memphis, downtown on Mud Island. I am there, in my tiny little galley kitchen, scrubbing the floor and worshiping my heart out to the God of the universe. So very many lovely memories of how I grew in the Lord during those days. The prayers I prayed and the songs I sang are indeed still bearing fruit in my life today. That's remarkable. I remember singing along with these words--

"Friend for life Who took my pain
Cleansing flood, You remain
Wash over me until I can't be seen
Living water, swallow me Deepest river wash me clean Jesus, Savior, more of Thee Jesus, more of Thee Come and ruin me with Your love So no other is enough! Come and leave Your mark on me Jesus, more of Thee, Jesus, more of Thee!

Deep is the stain inside of me!
But deeper the river that washes me clean
I've been the one that cries in the night
But You've been the friend of my life!"

Songs like this one made and still make me want to dance. As I allow those memories to flood my mind, I am aware of how very faithful, wonderful, and awesome God has shown Himself to be in my life. He IS making me fall in love with Him so that no other is enough. Thank You Lord for designing even my memories to make me fall more in love with You, my friend for life. I am a mess, but You are the faithful, forgiving, and cleansing! Indeed, Jesus, more of Thee!

What about you? Does God use your senses, memories, and music to draw you into worship of His glorious Self?

Do yourself a favor!

I love pretty much anything pasta related.

Last night I was making our favorite sauce and realized that I had to share the recipe. Seriously, do yourself and your taste buds a huge favor, and make this sauce!

It is so simple to make and puts just a slight twist on your typical Italian red sauce. Originally it came from Ryan's grilling book and went with some basil-marinated grilled chicken and penne pasta. I have also used it on homemade pizza crust and baked ziti, but it could shine in any recipe that calls for tomato based sauce.

Seriously. Do it. You'll be glad you did!

2 T olive oil
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 Medium onion, diced (calls for yellow but I used white)
2 teaspoons minced garlic
2 teaspoons minced anchovies (delicious and surprising! have made with and without- great both ways)
2 C canned crushed tomatoes (or diced if you like a chunkier sauce)
1/2 C dry red wine (I used cooking wine with great results)
1/4 teaspoon Salt
Dash of Sugar (my addition)

Over medium high heat, warm the olive oil. Add the pepper and red pepper flakes. Add onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until soft and translucent (4-5 minutes). Add garlic and anchovies and cook for 2 more minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the red wine, tomatoes, salt and sugar and simmer on low for 15 minutes.

(Adapted from Weber's Big Book of Grilling)

Let me know if you try it--- I know you'll love it. What a great start to Tasty Tuesday!